Monday, 17 August 2015

Writing Sample Shark Attack

My goal is sentences with troy. I have chosen this goal because I mostly use long sentences. I am getting better bye doing this by doing it a bit more interesting so I can get the reader even more hooked on it.

 Big Idea:
In Troys writing group we looked at a picture of a heard of fish. My writing is about a shark trying to kidnap all the fish so they can have all the fish in the world. My hero is a dolphin called shinny, plus dolphins kick sharks but.

Feedback & Feedforward:
I think you did well using humor to hook the reader in to reading your story, you also did well in making sure your using the correct puncuation.

 I think I could of done better by put a few more shorter sentences. Next time I could also use some juicy words.  I think I am improving in my writing this term because I have learnt other ways of making made up or a true story: Narrative, Recount, Report, and a whole lot more.

1 comment:

  1. Wow Sophie, this writing piece shows how far you have come since you used to write with me last year. You now add more depth, detail and much better surface features, Well Done! Next time think about using the dialogue between your characters in an interesting way.