Poetry Update

Description: 
In troys writing group we have been working on poetry. We have been working on Free Verse and Cinquans. I did my too pets, Bella and Gonzo. Troy made a google slide and said. ' Your task is to write some poetry that you have done but no more then three.Here is the final pice:

Big Idea:


Feedback & Feedforward:
Nice Sophie! I really like the way you describe the topic without actually telling us what the topic was. I could easily tell that they were your pets hence the "Meow Meow|Woof Woof"
You're description is great and descriptive (How it should be) and I really love your poetry! Maybe next time you could look on the Thesaurus and try find even more JUCIER words!
-Aye :P

Evaluation:
I think that I did a good job in my poetry because this was the first time doing poetry and I the in I have done a fabulous job with this. I agree with aye that maybe I should find more juicer words to go into there so that they hook the reader even more!

Turn Up The Heat To Bring The Beat Back

Description:
In troys writing group we have been working on Cinquains for our poems. We had to do one that is our passion.  So I chose Hip hop because I have done it since I was 4 and I love it.

Title: Turn Up The Heat To Bring The Back Beat

Dancing

Up the Music

Walking Pushing Turning

Jumping up and down while puffing

Hip Hop

 Feedback/Feedforward: You have done a great job on picturing in my mind what you where doing and I liked the suspense you gave me when I had to read to find out what you poem was about. Next time you could tell me more about  what you felt like maybe if you where sweating. You have done a great poem. Georgia :0 

Description:
In troys writing group I made a poem about my dog Bella. I had to write down what I think of her. I hope you like this 

Bella

Woof Woof

Pating the pup

Slurping up the water

Howling and Barking at the front door,

Bark Bark

Free Verse Poetry

Description:
In Troys writing group we have been working on free verse writing. Can you figure out what it is about. Here it is

Hustle, Bustle

It was time, 
"Phew" and we're off...
The first time in the air,
I could hear the noise of the jet engine roaring through the sky.

Rumble, Rumble

We are going down, we're swaying in the air like a plastic bag in the wind.
"Bang!" 
We have landed.
We grab our bags and leave the airport.

Clip Clop, Clip Clp

When we were at the beach I saw a blue starfish, 
It felt all slimy and bumpy.

Ripple Ripple

All my hair was braided also my friend sam did the Samantha does it to.
Once Mum took a photo I saw what amazing job the ladies did.

Clatter, Clatter.

Once my brother goes into the water I could taste the salty water. 
Oh No Jack is drowning! 
So mum jumps in to save him. 
I could feel the splashes.

Ripple Ripple

Mum has saved the day! 
What a great time at Fiji.

Evaluation:
1.Reflect on the link to senses you used.
I have used all of the senses in my writing. ( See, Hear, felt, Smell, Taste.)

2.Reflect on the language features you used.
I have us in these in my writing pice I even checked with aye. 

3.Reflect on what you could improve on next time
Next time I think I should use all the language features like Visual Imagery, and a couple more.

Poetry

Description: 
Today we have been working on poetry for writing our task was to do free style. We had to think of a memory that we had experience before. I chose Movie world because I had just been there. And I had a great time on all the rides. Here is my writing: 

On a Boiling Hot day

we went onto a tall tower. That had a batman top. We went in. I could smell the fear

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Next we went to the log ride we went went down backwards. I am right at the back scared like a turtle meeting a human for the first time

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Then we went forwards I could hear people in front of me soaking their fears.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Writing Sample Shark Attack

Description: 
My goal is sentences with troy. I have chosen this goal because I mostly use long sentences. I am getting better bye doing this by doing it a bit more interesting so I can get the reader even more hooked on it.

 Big Idea:
In Troys writing group we looked at a picture of a heard of fish. My writing is about a shark trying to kidnap all the fish so they can have all the fish in the world. My hero is a dolphin called shinny, plus dolphins kick sharks but.


Feedback & Feedforward:
I think you did well using humor to hook the reader in to reading your story, you also did well in making sure your using the correct puncuation.
Emma

Evaluation:
 I think I could of done better by put a few more shorter sentences. Next time I could also use some juicy words.  I think I am improving in my writing this term because I have learnt other ways of making made up or a true story: Narrative, Recount, Report, and a whole lot more.

Word Find

In my word find I have  found different types of words saying awesome. This will help me in my writing and reading. Are you up for the challenge? Find all the words. 10 words in this word find. When you find all of them send me a comment to say you have done the challenge!

 

Writing Task Conjunctions

Description:

We have had to make 7 sentences with a conjunction in it. My 7 sentences are about a little girl with her mum at the pet shop looking for a pet. Here are my 7 sentences I have made and the photo. ( In the photo are green box’s with a word in it they are when you don’t use a lot, like the blue box’s, they are what you will use more than the green ones.

Bella went out to pat the dog but before she new it the dog bite her.

Bella ran to her mum while she was in pain.

Bella said to her mum a dog bite her so that the dog would get a smack.

Her mum walked up to the dog since the dog was in a bad mode.

The dog struck in fear as though the dog had learnt a lesson.

They had a walk because they wanted to get there mind of things.

Bella opened the door while dad had just arrived for lunch.

Siad Is Dead

Did you know there are more words to say said in your storys? Well there is. People say they make you writing more INTERESTING! Here are some other words you can say instead of said.

Independent Writing Task

During our workshop we had to put ing at the start of our sentences. All the 6 sentences had to start with Arriving by moonlight, there were three of us. Here are my 6 sentences:

Arriving by moonlight, there were three of us at the school disco.

Arriving by moonlight, there were three of us going into the mistress cave.

Arriving by moonlight, there were three of us at the ball.

Arriving by moonlight, there were three of us of to the shops.

Arriving by moonlight, there were three of us at the house.

Arriving by moonlight, there were three of us at the school ready to learn.

Writing Goal 2015

Description:
Poutama had a sheet that was sentences words and ideas. My goal is words. In words I am working on connectives. Our task was to look at our writing book, and find the things that the box in the sheet tells us to look for. I chose connectives because the box had no ticks that I had some.

Completing Sentences

We have been doing some completing sentences in our writing group. Our task was to fill in the sentences. It had to be finished the next day. I hope you like my sentences.

Here are some tips to filling in the sentences:

• Make sure they make sense
• Make your teacher or family proud

Take a look at what I have done to the sentences.

If you can't read them here that are:

1. One day he was out walking.... the fire alarm went off near by.
2. While we went on the bush walk, you can hear the sound of the morepork.
3. In summer.... we got to go to the beach. We cached a lot of fish. 

Bus Stop Writing

Purpose: Describe the characters 

 There was a girl walking to the bus stop to go back home from school. But then she stopped. Her mouth opens wide and says. “ OMG A BUS STOP MADE OUT OF A BUS!”

She sits inside the bus stop and thinks I wounded if they are doing this to all the bus stops.

She sees the bus coming to pick her up. The bus stops right in front of her. Herrrrr! the doors open it is appositely dead no one else was on the bus. She asks the bus driver. “ Are the other bus stops are like that?” He answers. “ No. sorry kid.”

When she arrived home she says to here mum. “ Can we not move I want to stay here because there is this really cool bus stop.” 

The End

 This is an unedited pice of writing.

Story Pyramid

Today Sue was reading us a story about Stinkage. So we made a pyramid about Stinkage. Here is solution when Pippa (The main character.) steels lip gloss and gets caught, and her friends left her. So when her Mum comes she can tell the truth so then she won't get in so much trouble. So in future she won't have a friend like Kylie (One of her friends.),  because she dared Pippa to steel the cheery lip close.

2 Stars And A Wish

We made a 2 stars and a wish so we can show you what we are proud of and then our wish. In stead of one wish I have put another one for next year. Here is mine that I worked on I hope you like it. Here it is:

Homework

Last week our homework woes to make a boat that week. If it sinks that is ok if it did float well don for you but it is all about fun. This I did it I got I Emmey milk bolt, string, 3 straws than you can detail to it. I didn't get time to pant it because I had a lot of trouble with the straws and I add 2 days. When it was Friday the  22 of March we darn or boats in class 5 kids didn't make one. There were molters and sales my one was a sale. We all add one side no kids side and the kids that add a bout.
First it was the molters one. Stephen said " On your marks get set GO! Some were sniping a round in the water. Vincents went to the wall then Baily went to help it. And the won are was Vincents he did well. Then it as the sales one that was me. Stephen said" On your marks get set Go! my one went on the side but it flouted. I had a lot of fun that one manes won. We did do more races but my one did not won it just went on its side.

Here are some photos they look coo.l Go to the ins and out to see a move about it.

Posting Guidellines

Capital letters in titles

Write in full sentences

Check spelling especially if it has a red line under it

Don’t forget full stops and capitals

Punctuation goes directly after the last letter

Break your writing up by using paragraphs

Read your work back to make sure it makes sense

Add a label to your post

Must add a picture or video to each post

One space between words

No big gaps in your posts

Always post sensible things.